Apologies for Everything

 I was watching a tv show where a sister and a brother were having trouble reconciling. After years of being a problem, the brother apologizes. I It brought me back to when I did that with my father. When my father had his first heart attack, and I thought I was going to lose him, he and I sat down and talked. I thanked him for the things that he did for me, There were times that I didn't like what he was doing, but I came to understand his motivation later. I apologized for the being a problem child. When I was young I was at odds with the world, and a harsh, mean unforgiving individual. He deserved better from me. I could have been a better son. More like him and less like me. I remember it like it was yesterday. I wasn't lookin for absolution, I am not sure I will get that here, I was looking to tell him that I was truly sorry, for some of my behavior. I told him that I loved him, he told me the same thing, that was the only time either of us said that to each other. We always knew. Things you remember in a vacuum. I have no regret for things I wish I'd said.   



 

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